My MS, New OS and other recent news

So, my DH (dear husband) came to me with the option to wipe my OS and do a clean install of this new and wonderful system called Ubuntu.
It's great but I had to say goodbye to all of the music files and playlists I'd just transferred from my laptop. No big deal, the important things I own actual Cd's purchased at music stores. It's a pain because Ubuntu isn't compatible with Windows so the file sharing option doesn't work.
I've been digging out my Cd's and copying them to the music player. I get to enjoy the album art again and in doing so it's a lot like a step back in time for me. I remember buying the albums and wrestling with the packaging.
I have also been learning this new OS and it is a lot more sophisticated than windows. It's like a clean-matter-of-fact and to the point way of computing. I suppose that's why I like it.

As for my MS well, earlier this month I was due to have my infusion and yet again it was delayed. This time it was thanks to my honesty and talkativeness. I was asked about what I've been doing in my spare time etc... I shared how my Internet was down so I played Skip Bo on my PC. I love that simple child game much like my Rubik's Cubes. So when I'd first started up I'd forgotten that the person with the 1 card was the only one who could get it started. This forgetfulness went away immediately. This was the same nurse who said I was hearing voices, by the way. Both times she successfully stopped my much needed infusion.
Next time there will be NO smalltalk and NO inkling of any changes in my health no matter what. She wants to be a doctor I guess, she needs to learn the nuances of MS. Once bitten Twice shy and the third time meh. I'd rather become bedridden with an actual serious condition than to allow her to toy with my well being and livelihood.

Moving on. I had fun on the third Friday of the month, that's the local MS chapter's Monthly Meeting. I stupidly listened to another person, that will remain nameless, about the meetings. I was told they'd stopped. Either it was a lie or disinformation. Moving on again, I know now when and where in fact, it's where this girl I know works. She used to be my neighbor and has since moved into a newer house. I met these great women and it's exactly the type of people I've needed in my life.
I've also added a new friend to my life who has not only helped me out but I'm hoping that I can be there for her just as much.
I know that God has stepped in and answered my prayers.

Tomorrow I'm going to get a call from my Neurologist about my MRI I had on Monday, I'm pretty sure that I'll be getting my infusion by the end of the week. :)
I'll let you know.
-nan

my role as an aspiring Child of God

4:39 AM 10/6/2010
After I had a conversation with my Dad the subject of hope came up, I feel the need to share; I want to try more not to get my hopes up, in fact I have ideas that I hope workout. I will strive to just go with the flow. When I get my hopes up and focus on what I want, it then by definition becomes selfish. I want to do what God wants, that is not selfish. Releasing my
burdens to God is such a relief. I'm aspiring to be a Child of God and maybe that aspiration
is also a defining trait of a true Child of God. I hope so, but again I don't want to just hope,I want to do.

I also don't want to get my hopes up, typically things don't work out to every minute detail I dream up. When the "hope/wish" doesn't pan out, (for reasons I don't need to know or even preoccupy myself with) I end up being sad, angry and even
depressed. I've asked myself "Why? Why not? Why me?" no-one is to blame for my emotions, but me.

I further thought about what things or situations and experiences was I hoping for?
Money, a new car, fancy clothes....? These are all things limited to earth. The Bible tells us not to collect materials here on earth. This is God's word, his message to us. When I
want the new fanciest gadget, that's not what a true Child of God desires. The scarry realization is that the devil has planted that seed in my mind. He's pointed my eyes to see the "greener grass". In reality, it just seems that way but the grass is equal and does no wrong. It's how it has been taken care of, if at all.
It's how it was planted, who has taken care of that yard and cultivated the soil?
The illusion of the grass being greener is just NOT seeing it for what it is, the labor it has taken to bring it to that level and still taking care of it, to continue for seasons to come.

Realizing that, I've tried to look to see what people have personally done and gone through to get that great new Audi TT or the beautiful house with the well manicured lawn in the best neighborhood. It sounds nice, getting these things though requires money, hard work and sacrifice.

Money, who cares it's meaningless. (See: Ecclesiastes 5:10-20)
Hard work, when you're working full time and even overtime you've sold your time, your life and truly your soul.

Sacrafice, it's just that. Giving yorself up for things. So Mr.Jones, I want you to realize that Audi TT can not fly you up to the gates of Heaven.

that's it for this installment- thanks for reading.