my role as an aspiring Child of God

4:39 AM 10/6/2010
After I had a conversation with my Dad the subject of hope came up, I feel the need to share; I want to try more not to get my hopes up, in fact I have ideas that I hope workout. I will strive to just go with the flow. When I get my hopes up and focus on what I want, it then by definition becomes selfish. I want to do what God wants, that is not selfish. Releasing my
burdens to God is such a relief. I'm aspiring to be a Child of God and maybe that aspiration
is also a defining trait of a true Child of God. I hope so, but again I don't want to just hope,I want to do.

I also don't want to get my hopes up, typically things don't work out to every minute detail I dream up. When the "hope/wish" doesn't pan out, (for reasons I don't need to know or even preoccupy myself with) I end up being sad, angry and even
depressed. I've asked myself "Why? Why not? Why me?" no-one is to blame for my emotions, but me.

I further thought about what things or situations and experiences was I hoping for?
Money, a new car, fancy clothes....? These are all things limited to earth. The Bible tells us not to collect materials here on earth. This is God's word, his message to us. When I
want the new fanciest gadget, that's not what a true Child of God desires. The scarry realization is that the devil has planted that seed in my mind. He's pointed my eyes to see the "greener grass". In reality, it just seems that way but the grass is equal and does no wrong. It's how it has been taken care of, if at all.
It's how it was planted, who has taken care of that yard and cultivated the soil?
The illusion of the grass being greener is just NOT seeing it for what it is, the labor it has taken to bring it to that level and still taking care of it, to continue for seasons to come.

Realizing that, I've tried to look to see what people have personally done and gone through to get that great new Audi TT or the beautiful house with the well manicured lawn in the best neighborhood. It sounds nice, getting these things though requires money, hard work and sacrifice.

Money, who cares it's meaningless. (See: Ecclesiastes 5:10-20)
Hard work, when you're working full time and even overtime you've sold your time, your life and truly your soul.

Sacrafice, it's just that. Giving yorself up for things. So Mr.Jones, I want you to realize that Audi TT can not fly you up to the gates of Heaven.

that's it for this installment- thanks for reading.