W0W already 2014 Where have I been?

Well, I am a new person these days. I feel my disability led to my divorce which led to my not wanting to stay in my home with my ex. As that goes, he would say he was going to move out and never did. I could not be present as he brought his love interests to MY HOME! Yes we were divorced but that is not normal adult behavior. I left waiting and hoping he would move out but that did not happen, I was welcomed into another homeless man's life. Naturally a bond and relationship developed. Was it too soon for me? Perhaps, this relationship founded on my depression and need and his tumultuous situation including his kids at one point he was put in jail. I am not sure there was any other route I could have taken. Living as a vagrant,....a vagabond,....a wanderer,...well I prefer Nomad. I have my jeep packed with my personal belongings, a warm blanket, some pillows, a window shade to block out the morning sunlight. I have sunblock, a toothbrush and floss,I always have a supply of feminine hygiene products and I carry a roll of toilet paper cuz you never know. I have my hairbrush, shampoo and conditioner, baby wipes for cleaning in public bathrooms. I prefer the kind that only allow one person at a time so I can really 'shower'. I have deodorant, perfume, body spray and several changes of clothes which I keep as clean as I can until I get to a laundry. I keep my electronics such as my sansa music player, my laptop and cell phone (which I keep losing or having stolen, glad I can keep the same number when I activate a new phone. I get the cheap 'disposable' phones no contract so if I don't have the money for minutes then no big deal.)I even have a Bluetooth for my phone and a camera to document things I see. I have a charger that plugs into the cigarette lighter to keep these items charged when I'm not able to plug them anywhere. I keep my fingernails trimmed and clean. I wear makeup on occasion and my hair in order. I don't smoke but am known to enjoy a draft at a local brew-pub. I love my coffee,just black. Yes, I have a bank account usually just enough to support this luxurious lifestyle. I spend carefully, but I always tip better than I should when I do go places with service staff, including coffee shop Baristas. Who although probably live at home with their parents and make more per hour than I ever did. Why is the tip jar at the register? I just paid, so am I tipping the guy operating the register?! Good job you rang it up, charged me an excessive amount, asked me for the total with tax, put it in the drawer and handed me my change (hopefully the right amount) then said "Here's the tip jar....*smile*" WHY DO I HAVE TO TIP FOR A CUP OF COFFEE! My other more common method of payment is my debit card, then I sign it and hand it back. One time I did have this girl say "Oh, you didn't fill this out." looking at it feeling like an ass I threw $1 down and changed the total, plus my donation. I've done this time and time again, little do they know I need that dollar but something makes me feel bad when I don't tip. If I taste the coffee and it sucks, I just won't go back. I don't complain about something so easy to make but how do they mess it up? Instead these days I am fortunate to be couch surfing and whoever's place I'm at typically has a coffee maker. I provide my own coffee and usually just leave what I was unable to use while staying with them. Overall, I don't think most people know this is how I live. This is the new face of being homeless, I don't have much to my name. At least nothing somebody else can't get newer or better than what I've got. I've run into others in like situations they of course look at it as I do, I can't beat them or join them...so I'll just be a wallflower and live vicariously. I enjoy the comradery of coffee houses, brew pubs, free concerts, fun at campgrounds,local games and even loving to not be bothered while reading at a library. I make things workout with friends or family hoping to be invited in even just for a short stint. It's not that I'm totally lazy, my disability has kept me from working and now with my lapse in work...it looks really bad. With so many able bodies willing to work hard compared to me and at my age it's not that easy. So, I live in denial and convince myself that life is good.