a revelation...

As per my previous entry, I do feel the need to cut my hair because it simply gets in my way. Yes, it will be sad but it grows.
Unless you are constantly getting chemotherapy.
I am thankful that I am not going through anything like that treatment wise.
I have heard that with certain dramatic cases of MS, there is Chemo used.
Well I'm not there, yet. There is someone in my life right now who is.
I've let her know that if she wants my hair she will have dibs.
It will make her feel better, I will also feel better and on top of that it is an enormous feel good.
That's where I'm at right now.

On the religous side, I have thought about the season of lent and remember that as a girl growing up Catholic, my mother would force us to pick something we liked and give it up.
I now as an adult realize how wrong that is. God doesn't want us to suffer and he gave us free will. I think that going without happiness as a child is a form of childabuse when the child has no say in the matter.

God wants an offering/sacrafice that is sweet to him. Giving up something that does you no good in his eyes is like casting off unwanted possesions and calling it a good donation. Ha, I've gone to thrift stores and noone gives away a brandnew blueray player. Call it what it is, sloughing off undesireables. So I have been really praying about this and what is it that I can sacrafice during lent and I have come up with being proud. I will give that up but also on the other side of that my offering to him is that I will mourn for my own sins.

I have thought about what that means to me and I will explore them and realize my burdens and ask for forgiveness and in doing so I have truly began to feel sad and shameful for the things I have done. I was once proud of those things and carried them like a badge. Although, these are the things that led me here I hve no use for those things.