contemplating the efficacy of .., uncertainty?

I'm working through what is seemingly a lot more stress than I should be dealing with. I have so many issues on my plate, in fact more than I dealt with when I was a Bartender. That was a fun job, I love bartending and I miss it terribly. The beauty of bartending was once the last drinks were poured you could see an end to the shift.
With this I see no end. I have bills that come in the mail and they never stop. Being unemployed is nice having no manager critiquing me but now I have the pile of medical bills that even if I was working are astronomical.
Asking for assistance from the hospital seems like it was easy, still uncertain if they will help me though. Asking for assistance from the electric company also seemed like they were laughing at that request, they still helped, sort of. Asking for help from my medical insurance took more energy than applying for disability with the Social Security Administration, which was tough. I was approved on the first try though. I am still not sure if that's good or bad. Good that they agree that I'm disabled but it's bad because it's not like having a cold because it means they realize that I won't be getting better.

So it's all of this worry, this uncertainty of where the money for the mounting bills is going to simply materialize from. I'm not certain of the treatment that I'm on, if it's working or not. I'm counting the days that I have been able to get around on my own.(it's a continually shrinking number and less than I like to admit)

all of the issues keep building and most have no resolution and I want to know who's idea it was to make patients such as myself,try to be responsible for all of these things. All the planning, keeping track of bills, filling out forms, making and keeping appointments keeping track of all of these things and also the normal stuff too. Laundry, cooking, eating, bathing and also keeping up with friends and family.

It's too much. I get worn out just with the most basic things like brushing my teeth.
I've even come to a point where I don't eat because if I don't eat then I don't have to floss and maybe brush if I think I should. I don't get up because if I get up that means that I will have to eat, so I just stay asleep. If I don't go to the doctor, then I won't get a bill. If I don't get dressed in fresh clothes, then I don't have to wash the ones I already have on. If I don't do this then I won't have to do that and so forth....
This is my life these days.

Is this mentality healthy? No, I don't think it is. I think it's perpetuated by the whole system and there is no end to the shift. It's not like bartending.